test the spirits…
I want to write about something… since last night. A sort of public apology or confession. I LIED. I don’t know, what pushed me to doing it. But that’s just me saying that, in the back of my mind I can answer why i did what I did. Unfortunately, due to my inadequate vocabulary and communication skills I have trouble explaining such things. Unless, otherwise someone tries to explain it properly, I can rephrase or add/deduct to it to deliver my point.
But that’s not the reason I’m writing. I want to confess… for saying I did not see what I’ve seen and did not do what I did. It was a mistake. I overlooked things again. Anyway, I’m sorry for not telling he truth. My discernment was not working well. I was persuaded and I joined in persuading. In the end I joined with the truth but things were left unsaid and denied. I saw the guy and I believed her. My motives were good, but i was not careful. It would have been ok if someone had warned me beforehand in the first place. I’m not pushing blame. Maybe, I would have done the same thing if ever.
If someone, who you want to protect and trust you still, hands you her things in front of good people you love who are doubting her… then asks you to meet her in the bathroom. You get the message, she wants to get out of there. After she leaves, still no one tells you to stop her or tells you what exactly is happening. You decide to go to the bathroom. [sorry for letting her go] What would you do? –haha sorry for the messily constructed paragraph.
haay.. I believed her. I did. I thought they were just doubting because they had the story mixed up with other stories, it was a complex tale. If only someone had warned me… but I would still have stood by her, not that I’m not for the truth. But, the half of the truth is although I felt violated, I still love and care for her. If I knew, I will stand by her, she will know I’m still there for her, but I won’t tolerate. NO no…
Anyway, truly I’m sorry… Sorry God, sorry Israel. I don’t know why I covered for her, I guess it was a fleshly friendly impulse. freedom.
